I read some recent advise along the lines of "you don't have to know every single song to like a band." This really resonated with me, and I've been mulling it over for the last month or so since I heard that. I've been meaning to write this post for weeks. After much thought, it hit me that you don't have to be a superlative (and definitely not all the time).
Years ago, I bought some "superlative" forever stamps. I love stamps, so I rotate through a lot of options, and I just used the last one recently. The stamps featured such items as "longest bridge," "biggest lake," etc. Superlatives are exaggerated statements, but the term can also be used to refer to something like being the best. Trying hard is important, but the quest to be the best can often be a dangerous one. After all, only one person gets to be the best. And what of the rest of us?
I have been working hard to seek balance in my life. In addition to letting go of the competition with others (a lifelong quest), I'm also trying hard not to push myself to exhaustion in all arenas. Trying to be the best mom, wife, teacher, and self is an unwinnable quest. This winter, I was bringing home work each night while trying to fit in quality time with my kids, time with the husband, and a little me time. Most nights, I didn't do well on any frontier because I tried to do everything.
Over spring break, I took a lot of time to myself. I also spent time preparing classes for spring, mostly so that I wouldn't be planning day to day. Leaving my computer at work has been really freeing. As I walk out the door, I mentally say goodbye to work. Sometimes I think of work in the evening; it's hard to shut the teacher brain off.
The lesson of balance is one I will have to continually practice; this is harder than just letting things flow. But I like the permission to let go and be me. The original advise -- to like what you like, on your own terms -- is great. And the extension, too: you are fine just being yourself. Be a mom the way that works for you. Be a wife the way that works for you. This doesn't mean to be lazy; effort is still important. However, know that it is okay to decide that you have put in enough effort, and you may now put down your load.