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Time

There's never enough time in the world, it seems. Always slipping past like (insert your favorite slippery animal here). And that's been all too evident to me recently. Some of it is our daughter growing up; she's three now and so much her own self. We also had a little boy this spring, which I should write about sometime. And as a counterpoint to the new life in our little guy, my mother passed away when he was two months old.

She had cancer. As cancers go, it was considered aggressive, though I suppose it could have been worse. She was diagnosed a year and a half before she passed away. I decided to make the best of the time we had left. For, of course, tempus fugit, and each season turns to the next before too long. And I did.

I am sad about my mother's passing, of course. One of the hardest weeks of my life was sitting in the hospital room with her during her last week. The women who heard my first sounds not being part of my life is a challenge. But the silver lining is knowing that I made the most of the time we did have, and I am happy to say that I did embrace the flow of time and seemed to slow it somewhat.

Soon after she was diagnosed, Julie and I flew out to see her for a week. She was still strong and able to play thought tired from treatment. We also spent three weeks with her over the summer plus another week at her cottage. The cottage is a family property located on a lake in Upper Michigan. My mom would go to this lake every summer as a kid, albeit in rental. She'd always wanted to own there. She achieved her dream three years ago. And, again, she had not enough time at a place she loved. But we had a wonderful time playing there last summer, and Julie has a few videos and lots of pictures with her and her beloved Nana.

We also did Christmas right. That was my mom's favorite holiday. All three of her kids were home, and we made lots of traditional family recipes.

And, finally, the month at my house along with a week again with her at the cottage. My most abiding memory, other than time snuggling my little dude, is watching Gone with the Wind with her. My mom loved watching classic movies, and this is one she'd always meant to show me. We got that time. Perhaps we stole that time? It's hard to think in eloquence and metaphors about a topic that is still so raw for me. I also took a lot of pictures of how much Nana loved her new grandson so I can show him when he is older. Julie will remember little bits and pieces; she still talks about Nana recently and about how much she misses her.

I am glad both my kids got to meet their Nana. I narrowly missed meeting one set of my grandparents (my mother's parents); they died a month and three months before I was born, and it's always been a sorrow for me. My mom was so happy she made it to our son's birth.

Time slips, flies, flows, goes. We can try to embrace it, but time will still move on. Still, best to make the best of the time we do have. My summer is helping me see that and reevaluate how I spend my own fleeting time.

Reflections on a new place to live

We moved in late June to a new apartment. Our previous apartment was almost 100 years old and lovely: hard wood floors, deep windowsills, radiators, built-ins, and crown molding. There were also space issues (small/no closets), lead paint issues, and who knows what was going on with the pipes. In the winter, we'd always get hot water before cold from the taps. I presume this is because the radiator and water lines were near each other. Oh, and the radiators controlled the whole building with a thermostat in the hall, so our temperatures would fluctuate between 60 and 80F. Still, we loved our little place. It was cozy and lovely. The hard wood floors were amazing, especially since they'd been covered by carpet for quite awhile and thus were still in great shape.

However, our apartment was just two bedrooms and one bathroom, and space was getting tight. I haven't blogged about it, but we added a second child this past spring (a boy named Paul). We just weren't fitting well for a whole variety of reasons. We could have made it work, but we were given the opportunity to upgrade. We are now in completely new construction with four bedrooms and 2.5 bathrooms. To be honest, that's about one bathroom too many, but that's better than one bathroom too few.

I've noticed some interesting things since moving, which is why I want to write. First, laundry has become more challenging. Previously, we had laundry in our kitchen, and I loved doing laundry. It was so easy. I could hear the machine from anywhere in the apartment, so it was simple to know when to switch a load. Everything in the apartment was, gosh, maybe 20 steps away? I'm not sure, but whenever I needed to add steps at the end of the night, I had to do an entire lap of the apartment to get 100 steps. I could grab laundry, throw it on our bed, fold quickly and put right away. Now, our apartment is three levels when you consider our basement laundry. I do a lot of going up and down stairs, and I can't hear the machine running. I have started using the timer on my phone to remind me to go get loads. Laundry doesn't bother me, and I don't mind doing it, but it's not as simple as it used to be.

Another thing is trying to figure out where to put jackets. Our bedroom was steps away from the front entryway, so we had outdoor jackets in the entryway and things like cardigans hanging up in our closet. Again, I'm doing a lot of stairs now as I run upstairs last second to grab a cardigan before heading to school. Ditto on shoes; I'm actually getting close to just putting all our shoes in the front closet, since we don't wear shoes unless we're moving the house. I don't think I have space for all the cardigans and shoes, but we'll see as I reshuffle.

We also have a lot of stuff. I have no idea how we fit it in a smaller space. We did get a few new things, like a second desk and a second bookshelf. But, mostly, we've just unpacked what we had. We do have more floor space now. I am working on finding a place for everything, and then my next goal will be to start parting with items.

On the whole, I like our new place. It's good to spread out and be able to take stock; we definitely didn't have room to declutter before, which is perhaps how we still own so much. But on nights like tonight where I'm cleaning and doing laundry while running up and down the stairs, I get nostalgic for our tiny spot.