penn

My weekend

I spent lots of time with some cute furbabies. I housesat for one of my coworkers and really enjoyed the luxury of a significantly shorter commute to work (~ 25 minutes or less!). I'm also really appreciating being home now; it's amazing how a little break can really help one realize what gets taken for granted on a daily basis.

Here are the animals. It's hard to tell, but the cat only has three legs. She hops around everywhere and can't jump high. Also, a total cuddle bug. There was also a second cat that proved to be more elusive, especially when the camera was out.

Another picture of Archer, the awesome dog. I'm not sure what he is, but it's some mix of collie and a bunch of other things. I wouldn't be surprised if he has some beagle in him. Mostly, he looks like a collie-like fox.

And, finally, I came away with some decor ideas. This is the lovely, calming room where I stayed. I really adore the color scheme (deep red with a lighter blue). Of course, the generous natural lighting helped a lot too. I find it so much easier to get up in the morning when one's room is flooded with light. This is the vibe I eventually want in my room, someday, when we get a place that's not surrounded by forest. I like the forest around our apartment . . . except for the lack of direct light. Anyway, the room:

The challenge of social drinking

Sometimes, I feel guilty because I just am not a social drinker. And I mean that in the broadest sense of the terms. I don't drink coffee, I am exceedingly picky about beer, and soda is a rare treat for me. Mostly, I just drink water. However, our society seems highly structured around going out somewhere, or going to someone's house, to sit around and chat while drinking something. It seems so adult to me.

I wonder what this need comes from? Why can't we just sit around and talk? Perhaps it's the comfort we get from having something to do with our hands. You can twirl a straw, peel the beer bottle label, slide the glass around; anything, really. Drinks are also a really easy way to avert eye contact, since it's reasonable that you may need to tilt your head or occasionally look down at your drink.

I also see how it is nice to get out somewhere. Especially in Minnesota, where it's difficult to sit around outdoors for several months of the year, it is nice to have a place to go to. That way, no one has to clean their living room or stock a full fridge worth of beverages, and everyone gets their choice of drinks.

However, this whole meeting for drinks thing just doesn't appeal to me. Like I said above, I don't do coffee. I can order tea when we go out, but every coffee place makes the tea way too hot which means that I spend a half hour just stirring to get the tea cold enough to drink. Going to bars means often means lots of money spent on drinks and sometimes too much background noise to even talk decently. Call me crazy, but I just don't care. No, wait: I do care. Otherwise, I wouldn't feel guilty. But I just don't usually want to go out.

However, I think back to my teenage years when I did lots of social "drinking" (non-alcoholic, of course). We were all poor. We had no choice but to gather around a kitchen table or hang out in the living room; something like the coffee shop was a rare treat (and, even then, not my thing -- I'd rather spend my treat money at the bookstore). I remember several nights spent drinking pitcher after pitcher with one good friend as we carried philosophical conversations into the night. I didn't find the drink and chat so difficult back then.

What's changed as I've aged? Is it merely the venue that is difficult for me? Or am I encountering the growing pains of trying to establish adult friendships when we no longer go to the same school and have plenty of fodder for conversation? Or is it perhaps time I cultivate a little less pickiness about my beer and a more relaxed attitude?

In any case, this is a challenge I'll continue to work on. I certainly do love hanging out, and I'm working hard to cultivate friendships in Minnesota. Being an adult can be hard some days.

Book of Love

A truly wonderful song covered by a nifty gal. This is Nataly's first solo cover I've seen. I have always enjoyed her duets as part of the group Pomplamoose, and this is fabulous too.

Listen to the lyrics; there's some good stuff in here.

Thanks, mom!

Best youtube video ever. When I finally become a teacher, this is definitely getting played during the reproduction and/or genetics units.

Time

For the past three years, I've been unbelievably spoiled. In grad school, I had a 20 minute commute to work . . . by foot. My last two jobs (Minnesota and Maine) were even shorter commutes. In fact, in Maine, I lived where I taught and thus had perhaps the easiest "commute" ever.

Now, though. Oh, now. I have a long commute, and I think it might be slowly killing me. I know that plenty of people do longer commutes and have been doing them for years. Right now, my commute is 45 minutes to an hour, depending on traffic and exactly when I leave my house. An hour is the outer limit, typically speaking, and that's what I had today. For some reason, the Minnesotans didn't like the rain this morning and showed it by gridlocking my commute a full 10 miles before I typically encounter stop and go.

For years, I've talked about the importance of a short commute even though I didn't have much experience with the long commute. If I wasn't convinced before, I am now. Short commutes save gas, save time, and are overall more enjoyable. I have 3.5 more months left of my current job and my long commute, and then I have to decide what to do next job-wise and living wise.

Now, here's the question that lies ahead for me: what is most important? What are more priorities? And what are my options? Matt is at his job for the next several years. Is it better for me to have a job I enjoy or a commute that doesn't wear on my soul?

Of course, this is also a roundabout way of explaining why I haven't posted much recently. Sometimes, I'm energized after work. I really do like what I'm doing. But most of the time I'm really, really tired. Being away from home for 11 hours is a lot of time.

My main goal right now is to save up money from my steady paycheck and chart a course for my future direction. And I promise to stop by from time to time.

On Love

I Corinthians 13 has always been one of my favorite bible verses. (As a kid, I was frequently teased by ministers about this: "oh, planning on getting married soon?" I suppose I didn't realize it was a cliched wedding verse.) However, one part of the chapter has always bugged me. In verse 11, it says "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me."

I'm an adult now, but I don't think that I've grown up. I still have plenty of fun. Matt might kill me for writing this (good thing he doesn't read my blog), but today we went hiking and sang a song together using "meep"s instead of words. I like to be goofy and silly, and some of my greatest pleasures are coloring books, video games, board games, puzzles, and reading children's literature. Sometimes I'm embarrassed about my tastes. But most of the time, I take my dad's teachings to heart. I distinctly remember one sermon he gave where he talked about the importance of not being embarrassed to do things you like. Sing in front of the whole church, even if you're not a great soloist. Go play sports, even if you're not a pro athlete. Dance, read, be creative, grow things: follow your passions. You are you, and you can't apologize for that.

Imagine seeing a similar lesson in my current read. I'm working my way through The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin (a partner to her excellent blog, also called The Happiness Project). In her May chapter, "Be Serious about Play," she writes about starting a reading group for adults to discuss children's literature. Brilliant! And in the first email she sent to her group, she included the following CS Lewis quote from his essay "On Three Ways of Writing for Children":

When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.

How lovely!

I Corinthians 13, while a beautiful verse, misses the mark on the topic of being an adult. In order to love truly, and to be faithful to ourselves, we must embrace our childlike side. In childhood, we can have absolute trust and faith in goodness, in truth, and in love. The greatest stories of true love that I can recall are written for children. It seems that as we grow into adulthood, we become jaded and clouded. To fully experience and embrace love, Paul should have written his flock to remember the wonder, joy, and beauty of being a child captivated by even the simplest parts of daily life.